Times are tough and taking care of your sapphic self is especially important right now! Why not borrow some self-care strategies from the world of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)?  Sounds fancy, right? Don't worry, we'll keep it real and relatable. CBT is a popular type of therapy that aims to change our relationship to our thought patterns, our conscious and unconscious beliefs, our attitudes, and, ultimately, our feelings and behavior, in order to help us face difficulties and achieve our goals. In short, the tips that follow are all about rewiring your beautiful brain to be your best ally. So grab your metaphorical hard hat, and let's do some mental renovation!

1. Thought Detective Mode: Activate!

First things first, let's catch those sneaky negative thoughts. When you're feeling down, pause and ask yourself, "What am I thinking right now?" Write it down. You might be surprised at the stuff your brain's throwing at you!

2. Reality Check, Please

Once you've caught a negative thought, put it on trial. Where's the evidence? Is this thought actually true, or is it just your inner critic being a little gremlin? Even if it is true, how likely is that worst case scenario to happen? Are there any other ways this could turn out? Challenge those thoughts like the boss babe you are!

3. Reframe It Like It's Hot

Now, let's flip the script. Take that negative thought and reframe it into something more balanced or positive. Instead of "I'm a total failure," try "I'm learning and growing from my mistakes." One way to practice this? Imagine your best friend just had this same thing happen: What would you say to them? What would you offer them? A hug? A walk? A listening ear? Why not offer that to yourself? 

4. Gratitude Attitude

Every day, write down three things you're grateful for. They can be big ("I got that promotion!") or small ("My coffee was perfect this morning"). This simple habit can shift your focus from what's wrong to what's right in your world.

5. Future You Fan Club

Visualize your best self in the future. What does she look like? How does she handle challenges? Channel her energy when you're facing tough situations. You are that girl!

6. Boundaries are soooo back

Learn to say "no" to things that drain you and "yes" to things that fill you up. Setting healthy boundaries is self-care at its finest. Remember, "No" is a complete sentence!

We all know how crucial relationships with others are—they play a huge role in our well-being, and the vibrant sapphic community can often be central in our lives. However, our innate sapphic natures and sensitivity to rejection can sometimes intensify even platonic relationships, making them both enriching and, at times, complex. These relationships can occasionally become sources of stress or emotional triggers. If you are in such a situation, it's important to assess your friendships and thoughtfully adjust your approach as needed. This doesn't mean abruptly ending connections or ghosting friends. Instead, consider how you engage and interact, especially if a relationship starts to feel strained. Remember to extend the benefit of the doubt to your friends and try to connect with a diverse range of people. This diversity can help ensure your emotional needs are met in various ways, easing the pressure on individual friends who might be able to support you in some areas but not others.

7. Perfectionism Detox

Perfectionism is out this year. Embrace "good enough" and celebrate your efforts, not just the outcomes. You're human, not a robot, and that's what makes you amazing!

8. Mindfulness Moments

Take mini mindfulness breaks throughout your day. Focus on your breath, notice your surroundings, or do a quick body scan. It's like a power nap for your mind! Feel free to check out this completely free resources for mindfulness:

https://www.freemindfulness.org/

https://insighttimer.com/

https://unwindinganxiety.com/

https://oxfordmindfulness.org/news/oxford-mbct-app/

9. Self-Talk Glow Up

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Would you speak to your bestie that way? If not, it's time for a self-talk makeover. Self-compassion isn’t the same as being self-centered. In fact, it actually helps us show up better for others, reduces anxiety, and helps us be more resilient! There’s guided practices out there to help get you started as well:

https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices

10. Emotions are Not the Enemy

Remember, all emotions are valid. Instead of judging your feelings, get curious about them. What are they trying to tell you? Treat them like messengers, not intruders.

11. Action is the Antidote

When you're feeling stuck, take one small action. It could be as simple as making your bed or sending that email you've been avoiding. And if any of that is hard, take a walk first, write down some self-compassion says and then take that action that has been hard to push towards. Action builds momentum and boosts your mood, and small actions move you towards those bigger ones one step at a time. 

12. Celebrate Like It's Your Job

Did something good happen, no matter how small? Celebrate it! Do a happy dance, treat yourself to something nice, or just pause to acknowledge your win. You deserve it!