It’s time explore why being out to your doctor matters, how to do it, and how to find LGBTQ+ affirming doctors. So grab your rainbow stethoscope (what, you don't have one?), and let's get into it!

Why Being Out to Your Doctor Matters

1. Accurate Health Assessments

Your sexual orientation and gender identity are part of your overall health picture. When your doctor knows, they can provide more tailored and accurate health assessments. For example:

- They can offer appropriate sexual health screenings and advice

- They can better understand your risk factors for certain conditions

- They can provide more relevant lifestyle and prevention recommendations

2. Mental Health Considerations

As queer women, we face unique stressors that can impact our mental health. An informed doctor can:

- Recognize signs of anxiety or depression related to coming out, discrimination, or internalized homophobia

- Provide appropriate referrals to LGBTQ+-affirming mental health professionals

- Understand the impact of minority stress on overall health

3. Relationship Recognition

When your doctor knows about your relationships, they can:

- Include your partner in medical decisions when appropriate

- Understand your support system and home life

- Recognize the health impacts of relationship stress or domestic violence in same-sex partnerships

4. Fertility and Family Planning

If you're considering starting a family, an informed doctor can:

- Provide appropriate fertility options for same-sex couples

- Offer relevant advice on adoption or surrogacy processes

- Understand the unique stressors of queer family planning

5. Substance Use Considerations

LGBTQ+ individuals have higher rates of substance use. An aware doctor can:

- Provide non-judgmental screening and support

- Understand the connection between minority stress and substance use

- Offer LGBTQ+-specific recovery resources if needed

6. Honest Discussions About Sexual Health

When you're out to your doctor, you can have more honest conversations about:

- Safe sex practices relevant to queer women

- STI risks and prevention specific to woman-to-woman sexual contact

- Any concerns or questions about your sexual health without fear of judgment

7. Hormone Considerations

For trans women or non-binary individuals, an informed doctor can:

- Understand the health implications of hormone therapy

- Monitor for potential side effects

- Provide appropriate screenings based on your anatomy and hormonal profile

How to Come Out to Your Doctor

1. Start Small

You don't have to share everything at once. You could begin with:

"I wanted to let you know that I'm in a relationship with a woman" or

"For your information, I identify as bisexual/lesbian/queer."

2. Use Intake Forms

Many clinics have intake forms where you can indicate your sexual orientation and gender identity. Use these if available.

3. Bring it Up in Context

If it's relevant to your visit, bring it up in context:

"Since I'm sexually active with women, what STI screenings do you recommend?"

4. Be Direct

Sometimes, straightforward is best:

"I want to make sure you have all the information to provide me the best care. I'm a lesbian, and I think that's important for you to know."

5. Bring Support

If you're nervous, consider bringing a supportive friend or partner to your appointment.

Finding LGBTQ+ Affirming Healthcare Providers

1. Use Online Directories

- GLMA Provider Directory (glma.org)

- OutCare Health Provider Search (outcarehealth.org)

- National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center's Provider Directory

2. Ask Local LGBTQ+ Organizations

Local LGBTQ+ centers often have lists of affirming providers.

3. Check Hospital Websites

Many hospitals now have LGBTQ+ health programs or list providers with LGBTQ+ health expertise.

4. Use Social Media and Online Forums

Ask for recommendations in local LGBTQ+ Facebook groups or forums.

5. Look for Visual Cues

Providers who display rainbow flags, LGBTQ+ inclusive posters, or mention LGBTQ+ health on their websites are often affirming.

6. Ask Direct Questions

When calling a new provider, ask:

"Is your practice LGBTQ+ affirming?"

"Do you have experience working with lesbian/bisexual/queer women?"

7. Check Insurance

If you have insurance, check if they have an LGBTQ+ provider directory.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

Even if a provider claims to be LGBTQ+ friendly, watch out for these red flags:

- Assuming heterosexuality

- Dismissing the relevance of your sexual orientation to your health

- Using outdated or offensive terminology

- Focusing unnecessarily on your sexual orientation when it's not relevant to your visit

- Showing visible discomfort when discussing LGBTQ+ issues

What to Do If You Can't Find an Affirming Provider

Sometimes, especially in smaller towns or rural areas, finding an openly LGBTQ+ affirming provider can be challenging. If this is your situation:

1. Educate Your Current Provider

If you feel safe doing so, provide your doctor with LGBTQ+ health resources. Many are open to learning.

2. Consider Telemedicine

Many LGBTQ+ affirming providers offer remote consultations.

3. Advocate for Yourself

Be prepared to educate and advocate for your needs. It's not ideal, but sometimes it's necessary.

4. Report Discrimination

If you experience discrimination, report it to the medical board or relevant authorities.

5. Keep Searching

Healthcare provider options can change. Keep an eye out for new providers in your area.

Remember, You Deserve Affirming Care

It's not just about tolerance – you deserve a healthcare provider who affirms and supports your identity, who understands the unique health needs of queer women, and who makes you feel safe and respected.